Two and a Half Men – Charlie Takes Jake to School [HD]


Get dressed, buddy. I’m taking you to school. I can’t. I’m sick. Yeah, well, bite me. Hey! Don’t screw with me, shorty. I only got like nine hours of sleep last night. And get dressed. I’m supposed to take a shower first. Sit near a window. Here, put these on. I wore these yesterday. They’re still exemely stylish. Put them on. Can I have some privacy, please? For what? You’re 11. That’s close to puberty. Okay. I’m leaving. What am I, nuts? Get up! I could’ve dressed myself, you know. You had your chance. I look stupid. Yeah, well, you’re close to puberty. I forgot to comb my hair. No, no, no, no, no. I’ll do it. That’s spit. One man’s saliva is another man’s mousse. Now shut up. You’re beautiful. Let’s go. What about lunch? Sorry, I have plans. No, you’re supposed to make me lunch. Oh, alright. Come on. You’re not really a morning person, are you? You’re just saying that because I spit on your head. You like cold pizza, right? Sure. This is frozen. Yeah, if you sit on it, it will thaw by lunch. My butt is freezing. You wanted pizza. Alright, I’ll put the seat warmer on. Cook it from both sides. I like it better when my dad takes me to school. Oh G, you’re not having fun? Because I’m farting
rainbows over here. First he forgets me, now he leaves me with you. Hey, you know what? Your father works like a dog to make sure you have everything you need. And if sometimes he’s not there for you it’s just because he’s… trying to stay out of federal prison. I think he needs to have sex. I was kidding about prison, Jake. Huh? Ehm, what do you mean he needs to have sex? Well, he’s been really grumpy lately and you’re usually in a good mood. I figure it’s because you have sex. Jake, it takes more than sex to make a man happy. You also need money. Alright. Have a good day. Learn something. This isn’t my school. What do you mean? I mean, I don’t go to school here. Well, where do you go to school? Woodward Avenue Elementary. And where the hell is that? Woodward Avenue, I guess. I don’t know why you can’t tough it out here for one day. Make some new friends. Hey Alan? It’s Charlie. Yeah, look, I want to ask you something, but I don’t want you to read anything into it. Where exactly is Jake’s school? You don’t know where his school is? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to kill me? You could be right about the sex thing.

100 Replies to “Two and a Half Men – Charlie Takes Jake to School [HD]

  1. I gotta say Thank you, @PowNiels . Thanks to you, I can enjoy the old original two and a half men all over again. Thanks for all the great uploads.

  2. in german it's even more funny cause Alan screams really loud and aks Charlie if he's "Insane"
    Really hilarious, must say I am a little disapointed that it is so lame in english…

  3. How Jake wakes up is how I am in the mornings! Also, I find Charlie saying he "only" got 9 hours of sleep quite funny! On any given night, I would kill to have 9 hours of sleep!

  4. GET UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

  5. Don't screw with me, I only got like 9 hours of sleep last night. LOL
    Considering the recommended amount of sleep each night is 8 hours! XD

  6. Charlie: "Where exactly is Jake's school?"
    Alan [over the phone] "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HSI SCHOOL IS!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?! I—"
    Charlie [to Jake]: "You could be right about the 'sex' thing."

  7. "What am I nuts?!?!? GET UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  8. I would have lied and simply said Jake was sick and let him stay home and sleep. Considering his track record, one missed day is like a drop of water in a sea of failure

  9. 1:09 was sometimes how i had mornings with my stepdad before school. Mon-thur at 5 am 1990 til 1993 lol man i miss those days

  10. Cold pizza. Charlie could've just given Jake some lunch money. Alan also could have but he's too cheap.

  11. Jake: you're not really a morning person are you?
    Charlie; naa,your just saying that coz I spit on your head😂😂

    Oh jee your not having fun?I'm farting rainbow over here.haha.. Charlie at his best..

  12. GET UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP OMG!!!!!LOL😂😂😂😂!!!!! That part had me so dead😂😂😂😂 I almost peed myself 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  13. Charlie Sheen is the best in Comedy because, he is awesome, natural Actor, sarcastic and not Fat…Fat people are so not funny…I do not know who came up with the idea that fat people are the funny ones…Wrong…

  14. Jack was the sweetest thing at this age, such a wonderful actor, and now in this adult life he does not want to act anymore…come back Jack, you still can go to church be a good christian and act.

  15. Uncle Charlie – Get dressed buddy I’m taking you to school
    Jake- I cant I’m sick
    Uncle Charlie- Yeah we’ll bite me
    Moments later- GET UUUUP!!!

  16. Back in this era, Disney Channel's Flower Girls (until 2008) was the PRETTIEST pop diva group we've ever seen! 😍😍😍😍

  17. I'm a avid oldie television and music lover. I've never gotten into new television shows so when TV Land began airing reruns of Two And A Half Men surprisingly I was instantly hooked. What an absolutely hilarious gem of a comedy this was. Charlie Sheen was superb as Charlie. Just like with Charlie's Angels after Farrah left as with Charlie Sheen I was in no way interested in the show. Charlie was the Farrah of the show like Florence Jean Castleberry was the star of 70's Alice.

  18. Charlie should have made another show after leaving this called uncle Charlie where a kid screws him and pisses him off

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